I remember standing in my grandparent’s
driveway in Stone Mountain saying our goodbyes as we prepared to make the two
hour trip back home to Milledgeville. They were both in their early seventies and I was a fairly
young married man. My grandparents were easy folks to hang around with and
luckily my wife enjoyed them as much as I did, but the hundred mile journey
made our visits infrequent. After releasing my grandfather from a decent man
hug, I held his hand and told him that I loved him. At this point his eyes
searched his shoelaces as he managed an almost inaudible mumble of, “well, we
love you too”.
They have both been gone now for many
years, but I think of this moment often. Of course I have wished that I had spent more time with
them, and I do wish that I had told them more often that I loved them. But that
is really not what I think of when I recall this moment and I feel content in
the notion that they both knew exactly how much I loved them. Miss them? I do…kick
myself? I do not. We had some great times and I consider myself lucky to share
a gene pool with such great people.
What I think of when I think of this
day is my grandfather’s reaction to my declaration of love. He, of course, was from a generation
where a man making such a statement to another man was akin to saying he wanted
some 3” leopard skin heels for Christmas! Yes you loved those around you, but
while it was okay to show it, saying it was an open invitation to take over the
household ironing duties. A man’s emotions, so as not to be misunderstood, were
something best kept to himself. The fact that he could not face me at this
point told me everything I needed to know; he loved me too.
Luckily we have become much more of
an open group these days. “I love yous” are slung around
freely by men and women alike, and while honestly they may be somewhat devalued
by this, it beats the alternative! There is no longer any excuse for those
around you not to know exactly how you feel. I know this is true, but I don't understand why the older I get the more familiar I become with the intricate pattern of
my shoelaces?
