Looking Ahead

Like many other parents of school age children my world kind of revolves around basic routines. Getting my daughter ready for bed,"brush your teeth,lay out some clothes,don't stay up too late",and then we start all over again the next day. We have our morning routine that we have perfected over the last nine years(Wilco has all day pre-K) and most days go smoothly. Last night we had school night sleepover company. Before you wonder what kind of monkey wrench this throws into the mix, let me explain. We've done this several times with the same kid and it is really no problem. Parents are out of town and she just falls right in with our routine. Got to school right on time.

With a third party with us on the ride to school we have a little more conversation than usual. Mostly about music or soccer,things that teenage girls want to talk about in front of parents. Funny how the "retro" music my daughter likes to listen to with me never makes it to her Ipod, but I understand. It's just something that we do together. I disappear to them as we pull up to the school. Their eyes leave me and search the parking lot for friends to walk in with. They open the door to get out and I tell them to have a good day. The old "I love you" is now "see you this afternoon" or just plain "see ya". I'm used to it,it happened slowly. I leave the school and head back home for my rare time alone.

Still fighting the morning traffic, I pull to an always busy red light. I adjust the radio station,check my cellphone then start looking at other drivers. People watching...we all do it. The vehicle beside me is piloted by a twenty something guy in an average car. He is looking at the radio for a second, then he looks up in the rearview mirror. I know this look. He is not looking at the traffic coming up behind him, he is looking at some valuable cargo in the backseat. It's then I notice a toddler of about two looking at me through the window. I can't really tell if she can see me in the early morning light so I smile as big as I can. One of those giant fake TV smiles. She sees me. Her head turns slightly and her eyes widen. Is that the guy from the Wiggles? The light changes to green and everybody heads on their morning mission. I drive away thinking about this beautiful little girl strapped in a car seat facing the wrong way. Not yet old enough to be required to look ahead. Shielded from the weight of this great big world.

When I get back home I go back to my normal routine. Eat breakfast,pick up a few things and prepare for the day. My eye catches a picture on the mantle. A picture that has been there for years. A picture that just invited me to take another look. It is one of me and my daughter at a father-daughter dance,dressed to the nines. We are smiling and she is sitting on my knee. This was a fun day, I remember it well. I have looked at this picture a thousand times but today I see somthing different. Instead of seeing this pretty little girl smiling at her daddy I see a young lady looking straight ahead. Facing the right direction,ready for the weight of the world.