White knuckle weekend

Daredevil is one of those terms, like mean or cheap, that really doesn't mean much when it is used to describe someone. Of course it is a relative term as well; what I consider life threatening may just be another day at the office for some. And for those who think that reckless abandon is a trait they will possess all of their lives, let me clear that up now, advanced age will take a generous portion of that away! Man that hurt, and man I’m going to miss a week of work mean two completely different things!

Growing up as the middle son of three boys certainly had its challenges and I wonder if this is what brought out the risk taker in me. Looking back I realize that I usually felt like I HAD to outperform the younger brother (this just seemed like simple physics) and the older one was there to set a higher bar to reach for. Sounds like an exhausting childhood (though primarily self-imposed) even to me! But I explain this only as an attempt to justify some of the crazy and dangerous things I've done in the past.

Perhaps trying to ride an unbroken horse is one of the stupidest things I’ve attempted, but sometimes I wonder if surviving this with only a concussion and a Baltimore Colts team logo stamped on my chest did more harm than good. Nothing speeds up the learning curve like a permanent limp. And diving in the water from a 100’ cliff? I guess this answers the old question of “would you jump off a bridge just because someone else did?” We know now that the answer is often yes.

I’m not sure why these two episodes from 30 years ago stand out so clearly to me now because, trust me, there were countless others. Running from a cab driver in a city 500 miles from home that would probably have killed me for the $62 flashing on his meter was not very smart, but hiding under a train car for over an hour so that he wouldn't find me is probably even dumber! But there was no permanent damage from this event and I know now that the only reason I did this was for the thrill…and because the guy sitting beside me yelled “Run” when the cab stopped. There’s that bridge again.

But the older I get the less I enjoy the palpitations these actions invoke; actually I think they call it high blood pressure at my current age and it’s probably more dangerous than before! Nothing speeds up the learning curve like dropping dead after a prank! Let’s just say that today I go out of my way to avoid these scenarios. But try as I may, sometimes they sneak up on me and rope me in before I realize what happened. Last weekend was a good example. Me, my wife, daughter and oblivious dog loaded up for a 10 mile trip to my parents’ house. We were almost out of the driveway when my 15 year old daughter asked “Isn’t this one of those times when I should be driving?” Did my dog just yell run? If you've never seen a man clutching a white knuckled dog you don’t know what you’re missing!

My 911

Every anniversary of the September 11 2001 terrorist attack in New York seems more powerful than the previous one. The stories told by survivors, witnesses and responders are often almost too sad to watch. If you send a loved one to combat you always fear that late night phone call or early morning knock on the door, but when the toughest war you face is for the parking spot closest to the door, the thought of your loved ones not returning home rarely crosses your mind. 911 began as just another average day.

I thought of telling my story of that day in 2001, and while it is an ironic one, compared to the losses suffered by others it is a trivial one. I decided to wait a few days so as not to minimize the genuine suffering of others. But I will say that I learned a big lesson that day.

We had a small television in our dining room at the time and we often watched the evening news during our evening meal. This was certainly an exceptional news day, and while this early in the game there was nothing really new about the incident to offer, we watched an endless loop of the two airplanes crashing in to the twin towers. Our attempts to explain what was happening to a four year old were tough ones and honestly just trying not to convey fear and hysteria was our goal as parents.

I though we both had been doing a pretty good job of down-playing the events to my daughter, when out of a blue and cloudless sky, lightning struck the ground a few feet from our home. I couldn’t say exactly what my daughter thought about this explosion, but my wife and I were pretty sure we had just been bombed! What could we think? It was like someone jumping out of closet when you returned home from a horror movie!

I won’t go in to great detail about the damage that lightning strike did to my home or the money it cost to repair this damage; it really does seem trivial after all this time especially when so many others lost so much more. This also has nothing to do with the lesson I learned that day anyway.

That fatal morning I learned that I would spend the rest of my life with my heart outside of my body. I’m not an uncaring person, but as I watched the second airplane crash in to that building, thousands of miles from my home, all I could think of was my heart. After thirty five years of being trapped inside my body, my new heart now had a short ponytail and it was wearing a yellow dress. I had just left it beating unprotected twenty miles away in a classroom with nineteen other innocent and oblivious Pre-K kids. That valuable muscle I had protected for so long now belonged to someone else.

Clinical apathy

It seems like now days you can hardly have a decent conversation with anyone without politics sneaking in and taking over. Personally I don’t remember an election as polarized and charged as this one, but perhaps my brain is just protecting me from a previous bad experience. It’s kind of like how good that old girlfriend begins to look after the restraining order lapses.

But this conversation didn’t really make me mad as much as it scared me. Of course I have my own ideas about the candidates, and while I may not post them on Twitter or Facebook, if you want to discuss them face to face I will be more than happy to engage you. Facebook is the bumper sticker of the new millennium…I didn’t buy in to the real bumper stickers of the old millennium!

What scared me most about this conversation was that it was based on a concept that, try as I may, I just don’t understand. It is the concept of apathy. “I don’t like or trust either candidate so I will vote for neither. I don’t want to give either one of those SOBs my vote. I’m writing in_______ to show the world what I really think”. Sounds like we’re talking about a murder trial!

Like it or not one of these candidates will win. I think you have to learn to treat these elections as if they were a civil trial and not a criminal one. In a criminal trial you decide to convict when you determine guilt “beyond a reasonable doubt” as opposed to civil trial where guilt is determined by “a preponderance of the evidence”. If I don’t like every single trait that my spouse or close family members possess, how can I expect to do so with a political candidate? My decision will have to be a weighted one.

We are all very different people is this great big country and I have to admit that there are probably those that genuinely don’t care which party or candidate takes over in November. But I do think this number is lower than you might believe. I truly believe that if most voters, that vow and declare to be possessed with a case of genuine apathy, were to make a list of likes and dislikes; wants and exclusions; beliefs and disbeliefs; they would discover that they could easily chose one over another. But I guess this is harder than doing nothing!

If you complete the list and it turns out that you have viable, documented case of clinical apathy…stay home, I’ll take your parking spot. But if you decide that your list tips the scales in either direction, deciding not to vote is no different than voting for the one you don’t like!