Taylor

It had been a good holiday. We just relaxed and layed around enjoying a day with nothing to do. A holiday with no gifts or travel, a lazy day. I decided to make macaroni and cheese for supper because it is Taylor's favorite. I know this is probably every other ten year old's favorite, but she really hadn't been interested in food much lately so I thought it a good choice. She was getting so skinny!

Well supper was almost ready and when PJ went to tell Taylor to come eat, she was asleep again. She had been dozing off and on all day. She popped up when her favorite dish was mentioned and came to the table. That is when PJ said "Before you eat I want to test your blood sugar". Taylor knew from watching her diabetic mother that this involved pricking her finger to draw some blood and she was horrified. "No, I'm fine. Please don't do this". It's a small prick, but to Taylor it was like having surgery. She had only had a few vaccinations at this point and had never really been to the doctor much at all. A healthy girl.

Well we tested her blood sugar that evening three years ago and her life was changed forever. This didn't happen overnight, there were warning signs. Excessive thirst and weight loss mainly, but really she had just lost her desire to do anything. We silently chalked it up to being an "almost" teenager, but I think we both knew. The final straw was, while visiting PJ's parents one evening, my mother-in-law said, "that child just drank her fifth glass of water, you need to have her tested". Even with an outside opinion it took us a while to test. To give it a name.

I try not to think of the irony of my daughter losing so much of her freedom on a holiday in honor of a man that was all about freedom. To be reminded every year on this holiday that she can only be so far from her medicine. To forever drag the ball and chain that is Diabetes. She carries this load while I, as her parent, stand by and watch. Unable to say "Let me carry that for you baby", or "We wont worry about that today", or any of the other things a parent would say to lighten the load for their children. I am an outsider.

But this girl is my hero. I would be foolish to think that she doesn't wake up some mornings and want to give up. I did at thirteen with a normal, healthy body. But she rolls with it. She plans for it. Diabetes slows her down, but it doesn't define her. There is no other girl like her and she is amazing. I know that every parent says the same about their children, but when I grow up I want to be just like her.