Fun

I like to have fun, always have. I will admit that the older I get the more of a struggle it becomes, but it's possible. I'm not talking about deep sea fishing or tropical vacations, everybody can find fun in things like that. What I am referring to is just simple fun. Laughing. Inside jokes with close friends and family, practical jokes, even funny television shows. "Foolishness." Silly things that we all have a way of growing up and out of.

I grew up in what I would call a semi-large family. Two parents and three kids is almost a small soccer team, but when you make the three kids boys, the number seems larger. When we went places together we were kind of asking for trouble. Especially when all three kids were teenagers. Boredom makes kids do and say some weird things and I was no exception. In hindsight I'm pretty sure I was the real problem. My little brother told me once, while he was trying to stop laughing and breathe, that I wasn't funny, I was just relentless. I realize now that just about summed up my childhood. If you can do it, I can over do it.

If we went to the mall shopping I would lag behind a few steps and limp. The family didn't notice, they were just glad I was lagging behind. I watched people pass by and look at me out of the corner of their eye. They were curious, but tried not to stare. If we were in a crowded store I would speak to one of my brothers in a fake foreign language just to see what strangers would do. You have to be careful doing that today because someone will try to engage you, but in the 1970's it worked like a charm. I know some of this makes you think that an appointment with the karma police is eminent, but it was just harmless fun. I just wanted to see a stranger's reaction.

Good comedy has two parts: the one delivering the jokes and a straight man. Always be the one delivering the jokes because the straight man is the one that gets embarrassed. Case in point: My mother and I went to Macon to buy a new sofa. How it ended up being just the two of us, I don't remember, but I think she figured I would be good without my brothers. A salesman followed us around the store with a positive comment about every one we looked at. It wasn't high pressure sales, but it was a little annoying. In spite of him we decided on just the right sofa and went to the counter to pay. My mother was writing a check that was printed with her last name as Fort-Herren, her maiden and married names. The salesman looked at the check and asked "What kind of name is this?" I know now he was just making nervous small talk, but it was the opportunity I was waiting on.

"PLO." I said with the perfect dead pan look, and said no more. Well I know that I date myself with this response because few today remember the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO), but they were feared at the time. I thought my mother was going to have a heart attack! It didn't cross my mind that the guy might not take the check, but it crossed hers. The salesman just stared at us. The look on his face said "What in the hell did I just ask that question for?" Of course I promised on the ride home to never do that again, and we both had a good laugh.

One of the things I've realized that is different today when you do things like this is the reaction of strangers. People used to try hard not to stare. They would look at you out of the corner of their eye. They would keep moving and pretend not to notice. They tried to be respectful. My daughter went with me yesterday to an appointment with the eye doctor at Walmart. I would need new glasses and I wanted some help picking out the frames. We chose a pair that in her words "don't make you look stupid" and prepared to leave. My eyes were dilated so they gave me a pair of those disposable plastic sun glasses to protect my eyes. I hate those things, but I had left my real sunglasses in the car and I needed them. As we headed for the door, fighting the 5:00 crowd, I grabbed her shoulder, turned my head at an odd angle and pretended she was guiding me out of the store. My best Stevie Wonder, my old tricks with a new straight man.

Maybe it has been a while since I've done something like this, but it doesn't seem like it. Taylor wouldn't go shopping with me for almost two months after I jumped in the air and clicked my heels in a crowded Walmart. I'm not out of practice! But what I was not expecting was the reaction of strangers. No subtle glances. No eyes right as they walked on by. People stopped and stared. Gawked. Pointed at me and whispered. Maybe the karma I knew would one day come my way is to witness the lack of respect people seem to have for each other.